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Poster: BlueMtnMan Date: Aug 8, 2007 4:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: whole different topic

I can't say that I've contemplated ending my life. An experience I had in college helps me to remember that suicide solves nothing. It may be worth telling to those that do harbor such dark notions. Take it as you will, maybe it will give one who needs it pause to think.

It's spring and a Friday afternoon. My house mate and I arrive back at our apartment from classes and are ready for the weekend. We open the door and are immediately struck by an unnatural chill inside; the kind that makes your hairs stand up on end. I remember both of us commenting as we enter. We both sit down; me in a chair and he on the couch situated at 90 degrees to each other. A feeling of foreboding and dread engulfs me. As I start to say wtf is going on a vast darkness engulfs me. The best I can describe it is being engulfed in a pitch black utter sense of despair where nothing but that existed. I freak. I stand, twist and cast this from me. Unfortunately, I cast it onto my house mate. He literally convulses. The look of terror in his eyes can never be forgotten. Eventually he throws this energy off and we get the hell out of dodge.

I should note that we were perfectly straight at the time.

We find out the following day the guy in the apartment next door had hung himself. The best we could determine, his suicide had occurred minutes before we arrived at my apartment.

I'll always believe that we encountered the poor guy's spirit at the time it departed his body. He took all of his pain and agony with him. What my house mate and I experienced was as close to hell as I ever want to come. I figure it's better better to work through life's challenges while you are here than to take it with you.

Peace

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Aug 8, 2007 5:19pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: whole different topic

sorry to have brought the whole thing up. ive been there too. me and my bud - playin frisbee outside his friends house - asked his friends wife to grab her husband to come outside.....


he was hanging in the basement....


the screaming is something i will never forget

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Poster: patourkid Date: Aug 8, 2007 6:10pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: whole different topic

Dire there was a time about 4-5 years ago where it crossed my mind every minute of every day I won't go deep into details but HEROIN says enough, I've been clean for three years now and my life is GRATE!! I never would have believed 4 years ago that I was going to be anything other than a bottom of the barrel junky but I was to chicken to kill myself so I got in the car and left and never looked back .I had no one and things got REAL bad for me for a while. But I stuck it out and now Ive started a family and my daughter means the world to me. May 5 of last year I got a phone call that I knew was coming...My 24 year old brother died of an o.d I dont think it was intentional I think he just gave up. I carry the guilt of gettin him high for his first time... it eats me up every day!! makes my resolve that much stronger....if you ever need to talk holler at me. Dont leave your kids the guilt!!

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Aug 8, 2007 7:14pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: whole different topic

thank you pat - you just put tears in my eyes - im so sorry about your brother - i dont know what to say about that.

thank you for reaching out to me - i know you dont know me from adam. i appreciate your words and your concern. i really do.

i'll be ok man - and if i'm not......

well - you guys will know